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Community > Birth Month
July 2024 Babies
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j
jamac2
My sister in law has made any event extremely awkward. She doesn’t speak a word to anyone in the family.. she used to be fine but then once she had her child, she shut right down. She “seems” happy and brags all of the time about the new things they bought (cottage, etc).. but then says none of us make an effort to see the baby (which we have) and that “she’s sick of the family” …
how do you deal with this? I know she’ll be around when our baby comes but it’s just so awkward that I feel weird if she’s coming to hold my baby after the way she’s been acting? Any tips to help in these types of situations?
Maybe she just doesn’t like me very much �� she shares memories of my husbands ex (after saying how horrible she was) and likes everybody and their dogs post, except mine. I’ve already asked her if I’ve done something wrong and it was basically “nobody makes an effort, I truly see who cares” .. like what the heck?!
It sucks because my husband is obviously upset that his sister is this way now too. �� ugh.
Any direction is appreciated.
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v
vlagog
how far apart are your babies going to be? Sounds like she might be a little jealous of the attention you’re getting.
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j
jamac2
@vlagog,
that’s what my mom said too. Her little one is 9 months and our baby is due July 15th!
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d
dalechristina
SILs can be tough! No real advice here just letting you know, I feel this! My SIL is similar. She doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want kids and has always seemed SO excited for us to have kids. Now that I’m pregnant, I don’t get the feeling that she’s all that excited or will be very supportive. This bothers me so much as I’m sure your situation bothers you, but I’m hoping that once I’m a mom and have my baby here, I won’t care as much because I’ll be so wrapped up in newborn love and stress ����
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j
jamac2
@dalechristina,
feel for you! Absolutely you won’t care, but it’s definitely a difficult situation because it does put a damper on family events. ��
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a
agb0320
I’d try to understand why she feels that way. Because there is a reason. And I think it might make more sense to you once you have your child. You do see who’s there for you once you have kids, it’s eye opening. And perhaps you think you’ve been there but that’s obviously not her perception. And maybe you should try to understand what “being there” is to her, what she feels people haven’t done. It’s not about how you feel about it, it’s about understanding how she feels. Something has happened in her eyes to feel that way. And her openly saying “no one cares” is like her cry for help, which it seems like no one is caring to listen lol? Which makes it worse. My husband and I are super resentful of our parents since having kids, and it’s not as if they are completely absent - they’d probably say they help - but the help they think they’re giving is like the bare minimum. And all that might make more sense to you once you understand what it’s like yourself. You remember the family that doesn’t show up to your house with a lasagna when your baby is born lol.
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j
jamac2
@agb0320,
thanks for your input. I have two kids already so I know the feeling. But I definitely wouldn’t say the family “hasn’t been there”.. there’s more to the story and I think it does come down to jealously, but you chose the bed you lay in. I guess I was more curious how you deal with these kinds of personalities as it’s not someone I’ve chosen to be around. Not good energy.
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jellybeansmommmyy
@agb0320,
I agree with this.
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a
agb0320
@jamac2,
you deal with it by trying to understand them.
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runningmom24
My SIL is less direct her her passive aggressiveness. She's always been jealous of my husband. She copies things we do and has even used baby names that were on my list. Her nickname for her youngest is almost identical to my daughters nickname...She's been nasty about a lot of things and been horrid to me even though I have done a lot for her. I basically ignore her drama. But im also lucky we moved thousands of miles away. Now we basically just send each other funny reels on Instagram and that's about it. I know someone else said you need to understand how they feel, but they are adults now and it doesn't excuse bad behavior. My husband is the family favorite, he's extremely successful, handsome, smart, athletic and a really good person. So growing up she was definitely not the preferred child. I get it but that's her parents fault and not my husbands or mine. But she's in her 30s and still letting it bother her even though as adults they both get the same time and attention from their parents. Like at some point they need to get therapy or find a way to deal with their emotions and not take it out on others in my opinion.
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j
jamac2
@runningmom24,
1000% I agree with this. We’re adults, not high schoolers.
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lavendermama18
Not super helpful but honestly at this point in my life I steer away from people like this and definitely don’t care for them to be around or holding my new baby. ��
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